Drunk Test

The irony of today is that I just started this blog and low and behold something interesting happened. I am 29 years old and I have never been pulled over and given the drunk test....until tonight. I was pulled over literally right in front of my apartment. Apparently, for not using my turn signal. I believe it. I was bit lost in though running through a bug that I am trying to fix at work right now. I guess that I forgot my turn signal. Since this just happened, I will document exactly what happened.

First of all, I did drink tonight. I turned 29 on Wednesday and delayed some celebration until tonight. I had 3 beers. I don't really know what that means in terms of real serving sizes, but probably more than 3. In any event, I did tell the cop that I had 3 beers.

I am sitting in my car scared as shit. After all this could cost a shit load of money. I am praying that he just tells to me pull in my driveway and call it day. No such luck.

Test 1 The Moving Pen

I had to stand with my feet together and my hands at my side. The police officer took a pen out and instructed me to follow it with my eyes without moving my head. He moved it back and forth horizontally in a seemingly random pattern sometimes stopping right in front of me sometime off to either side . Then he started doing the same thing vertically.

Test 2 The Strait Line Test

I was instructed to walk toe over heal (like a super model) for nine steps. Then I was to pivot on one foot and do nine steps in the other direction.

Test 3 Balance On One Foot

I was instructed to balance on one foot with the other foot six inches off the ground while I counted 1 Mississippi ... 2 Mississippi...ect until he said stop, which was about 30 seconds.

Test 4 Blind Count

I was instructed put my head back and close my eyes and count down from 49 to 26 and back up to 49.

Test 5 Silent Count

I was told to put my head back close my eyes and count to 30 in my head or what I though was 30 seconds. Then put my head down and say stop.

Test 6 Alphabet

I was instructed to say the alphabet from E to P

Despite seemingly passing all those of these test, I was still given a breathalyser.

I was indeed under the limit. I didn't feel like it at the time given that my nerves amplified any physical effect the alcohol had on me . Moderation for the win!!!

I still don't understand why he didn't just give me the breathalyser to start our with. I mean if you are over you are over. What is the point of the tests. I should have asked, but I was too shaken up at the time to think of it.

I told the cop flat out that that was scary. He said just use your turn signals next time...Sure thing boss.

Side Note: I just researched the breathalyser and found that it is recommended that the tester keep the the "suspect" under observation for 15 mins to ensure the suspect doesn't burp or experience the expiration of of breath from sources such as eructation, regurgitation or vomiting, which may contribute to a false positive. I guess that makes sense, but I still don't see the point of the tests.